Busted

This weekend was well, a weekend. I didn't workout. No shock there really now is there? I just haven't found that motivation. I keep telling myself, I only have 50 pounds left to lose but then, I just fade to that dark place. That place of not caring. What is that all about. I have support. Kind of. The Boss is very supportive. Until it comes to workouts. Then he isn't so much. More on the opposite side. He'd rather I just ate healthy and didn't workout until winter. I wonder why? I know I complain a lot about this heat wave, but it just seems odd. Maybe if I stopped complaining? But then, I sabotage myself by eating things that aren't healthy. Which today I did go shopping and I did get diety type foods. Learning different ways to cook vegetables without butter and salt and pepper with be a new challenge. I have slowly shifted back into my old self. Binges after binges. No workouts. But, I am not gaining. Maybe that is why I have lost the drive to continue. Because I am able to eat whatever, stay within the calories on My Fitness Pal and yet, stay the same weight? I just, I need a swift kick in the rear. I should make a promise to myself, or challenge myself, to eat on a strict diet for a week, then see what happens. See if there is any changes? I just don't want to go on a fad diet. I don't want to drop down to 1200 and sit there starving. I know a lot of people are eating that little, but it doesn't work for me. I guess I just lost my way. Now to find that path again.

~Lady!!